


nobody

by marvelousmsmol



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Inspired by a Mitski Song, Ladybug is in love with Chat Noir, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Reverse Crush (Miraculous Ladybug), this isn't going to be happy at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelousmsmol/pseuds/marvelousmsmol
Summary: And I know no one will save meI just need someone to kissGive me one good honest kissAnd I'll be alright
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	nobody

It was easier to get out through the roof. No one could ask her where she was going if she just left without them noticing. 

Ladybug could just swing across the rooftops for a while and end up somewhere she couldn’t remember if she had been before. Out there, she could listen to sounds that weren’t familiar to her. No one she knew outside the mask was around, and she could just sit, hugging her knees to her chest for a while. 

The cold night air revealed each breath she took, white tendrils spilling out of her mouth like smoke, serving to remind her that she was in fact breathing. When Marinette had been on the floor of her room on her hands and knees just a dozen minutes ago, feeling as though she couldn’t breathe at all, it was something she needed to remember. She took each breath slowly. The hope was that it would calm the pounding of her heart within her chest, but it didn’t seem likely. 

Time seemed to move in slow motion, and Ladybug watched as lights of apartments flickered on and off. She could watch people through the windows, like multiple channels of television running at once. There were no lonely people. Everyone in those windows had someone with them, but maybe that was just because the lonely people already had their lights off. 

When it started to actually feel cold, Ladybug didn’t get up to leave. She drew further into herself, letting herself shake. Paris was going to bed now. She should too. She should go home. 

She should go somewhere. 

But where was there to go? Where was worth going when she was alone?

Ladybug let her whole body fall slack and relax. She laid on her back, flat on the roof, calves, and feet hanging off the ledge. The cold was doing a good job of helping her feel numb faster now. She had started to want too much again, and at that point, it was better to feel nothing at all. 

What was the point of wanting when no one wanted her? It felt like no one wanted her. 

Ladybug let her eyes fall shut. Her arms were spread out to either side of her. That position seemed to make things feel less heavy. It didn’t feel like there was a weight on her chest so much. The downside was the vulnerability. By feeling better, she was leaving herself open whatever might come her way. 

“What are you doing right now?” 

Ladybug opened one eye, and then the other. Green eyes were right above her, in line with her own. She could see the crease between Chat’s brows under his mask, but there was still a dopy grin on his face. 

She couldn’t tell how long she just laid there, not speaking and looking back at him. Confusion seemed to grow the longer there was silence, but Chat didn’t speak again. Eventually, Ladybug rolled onto her side to sit up and Chat scooted backward. Ladybug swung her legs up over the ledge so she was sitting completely on the roof again. It was as though she could barely speak now. “P-patrol.”   
  


Chat hummed as he considered her words. “That’s a lie.” 

“Maybe,” Ladybug said. “Why are you here?”   
  


“Patrol,” Chat answered with a wink. “I just thought I’d come to ask why a certain bug was precariously hanging her legs over the roof of a building.” 

“For the thrill of it,” Ladybug said. 

There was entirely too much silence again.

“Aren’t you going to patrol?” Ladybug asked.

“No,” Chat said. “Are you?”

“No.” 

Chat gave a curt nod and shuffled to the edge of the roof, sitting with his legs crossed next to Ladybug. “Then, we’ll sit here together.” 

If this were a different time, Chat might have leaned his head on her shoulder, but he hardly ever did that now. Ladybug somewhat missed his touchy, flirty self. He didn’t act that way with her anymore, and she couldn’t help but think in the back of her mind that it was because of something she had done or said. Of course, she had told him time and time again that there wasn’t time for them to flirt when they were heroes. It was probably her fault after all. 

“You seem sad,” Chat said suddenly. 

Ladybug drew in a sharp breath. “Astute observation.” 

Chat scooted closer. There was still a gap between them, their hands not even touching. Ladybug wondered what he would do if she closed the gap and put her head on his shoulder. Probably nothing. He wouldn’t push her away, she knew that much. Chat would just freeze up, but at least it would guarantee silence between them. 

All Ladybug wanted was for him to stay near her. 

“I like sitting with you.” 

Chat’s words almost made her choke. She tensed up her shoulders so he wouldn’t see them shake. Ladybug wished the spandex suit wasn’t so skin-tight so her fists would have something else to grip than digging her nails into her skin until it left marks. 

When she felt able to breathe steadily, Ladybug turned her head towards Chat. He noticed the tears threatening to spill at the corners of her eyes right away. The look on his face told her that much. Ladybug saw Chat swallow, probably trying to hold back tears just as much as she was. He looked away from her again and back toward the city. 

“I should do it more often,” Chat said. “I’m sorry.”   
  


“Why are you apologizing to me?” Ladybug asked. She wiped frantically at her cheeks with the backs of her hands, trying to get the tears off of her mask and skin. She sucked in a deep breath, standing up to her feet. “I’m fine, you don’t have to stay here with me. Just go patrol and I’ll join you-”   
  


Chat was already up to his feet the second after she had stood. His hand was wrapped tightly around her wrist, eyes pleading with her not to leave. The wind whipped through both their hair, evidence that the world was still moving around them even though they stayed frozen. Chat wasn’t letting go, but Ladybug didn’t want to wrench her hand out of his grasp. 

Ladybug took one step, and then another. Each one was unsteady. Their tense and outstretched arms that hand been holding onto one another became slack. Ladybug resisted the urge to take his hand. She was moving slowly out of caution, afraid that one wrong move would send him running away from her.

Chat didn’t put his head on her shoulder. He didn’t call her “my lady” anymore. There was no flirting, no ardent glances. Just a serious attitude and a greater focus on their jobs. 

And she hated it.

The first sob escaped her when she laid her head on his chest. His arm was around her shoulder in the next second. A third moment passed before Ladybug’s hands gripped his arms and another sob came forth. 

Chat was practically holding her up at this point. She hadn’t meant to throw all her weight on him, but as soon as she had decided to start crying it was kind of out of her hands. His hands moved down to her waist to help her stay upright as he pulled her away to look at her face again. Ladybug was still taking gasping breaths. 

“Ladybug, are you-” Chat stopped midsentence as Ladybug placed her hands on his cheeks. He took hold of her wrists, as though he was about to pull her hands away, and it sent Ladybug into a panic that she needed to hold him tighter. “Are you okay-”   
  


Ladybug crashed her lips onto his in the least delicate way possible. There was no gentleness or tenderness in the kiss. Just desperation. Chat’s grips on her wrists tightened almost instantly. The tears were running freely down her face now, possibly his as well, and Ladybug could taste the salt on her lips. 

Chat was kissing her back. That was the most surprising part of it. She had been sure he was going to push her way and now it seemed he was holding her tighter and pulling her closer. Maybe he was just as desperate as she was. 

Each time she had to pull away, Ladybug let out a painful sob. She knew her crying and need to get air in her lungs were good enough reasons to stop this altogether, but no matter the reasoning she couldn’t get herself to pull away. 

Her legs were shaking, and Chat moved one of his hands from her wrist to wrap around her waist. It was the only thing keeping both of them upright, otherwise, they might have fallen down on the roof. 

Chat pulled back, taking a gasping breath. “Let’s-” He managed to say before being drawn in again. The kiss he gave her then seemed to be more fierce than before, but still held her jaw as gently as possible and pulled away from her. “L-let’s stop.”   
  


Ladybug tried to blink the tears away from her eyes and clear her vision. They were both breathing heavily. Chat didn’t look away from her. “I don’t- I don’t want to kiss you like this.” 

Ladybug nodded. “Yeah,” she said, backing out of his grasp. “Yeah, that’s- that’s fine.” 

She barely slipped through his fingertips before Chat slid forward, capturing her in his arms once again. His knees were bent, head the same height as her shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of her neck. Ladybug’s arms were frozen at her sides, unable to return his embrace. Chat’s grip around her waist tightened, pulling her even closer to him if that were at all possible. 

It was clear how long they were standing there like that, but Ladybug eventually felt her breathing even out. The first time it had the whole night. She felt able to stand on her own two feet again. 

When Chat stepped back, Ladybug wished she were at risk of losing all balance and air in her lungs again. The look in his eyes made it seem as though he had just drawn out all of her sadness and consumed it himself. Something inside her screamed for him to give it back. It was hers’s and she didn’t want him to have it. Chat didn’t deserve to have it. He’d done nothing to deserve that kind of hurt. 

“I- um-” Chat wiped across his mouth with his hand. “Get home safely.” 

Ladybug didn’t even have time to respond before Chat ran off. Whatever his presence had been doing to keep her afloat failed as soon as his feet left the rooftop, and she fell to her knees. 

She had been right before. The absence felt greater than it had before, and the lingering feeling of the kiss had done nothing but burn her in the end. And now there was nobody to take it away.

Nobody.


End file.
